Woke up stoned and stiff after 6 hours of sleep. mouth was dry and brain fuzzy. I told myself to bring my water bottle and bookmark along for the TRE. I prepared them but forgot to bring them along. I set off on my scooter. I missed my turn and failed to realise it. This contributed to me already being late. 20mins past my appoited time I arrived for my session.
Starting off to fatigue myself 1 leg at a time. I realised my left leg seemed to fatigue faster than my right. I did half the reps on my left for the one-legged squat.
The first 2 cycles went well. Felt relaxed and more alive.
Last 2 cycles was strange. a tinge of sadness started to haunt me, I felt it in my upper chest, near my heart. I was triggering shallow breathing. Isablle had to remind me to breathe multiple times. It made me hard to smile, I felt stiffer and my hands and feet felt colder. My body tensed and contracted.
Paranoia and hyperviligance set in. I could notice all the fine detail. the metal knob on the ceiling light was set at an angle. SIde lamp had a crack. The smell of aroma from essential oils was light and calming. The critrius smell brought made me present. Isabelle’s lips seemed wrikly, a strand hair beneath her chin was seen on the left side. I can see her blood flow, red blotches from blood vessel dilation could be seen particularly on her neck. Still it was good to see her, she looked radiant, glowing and very present. The zig zag pattern of the black and white pants seemed psychedelic. My mind jumped from one analysis to another into recent memories and studies. My brain was automagically connecting all the dots from Tai Chi, muscular amouring, grounding and polyvagal theory. Memories were flashing, recent ones over the past hours and days. Flashes last for a second. I can assume that there were spikes in my brain electrical activity.
I felt shaken after Session 2. Shaken with some leftover paranoia and fear. Quite different from the good shaken in session 1. I felt like a wanted to be more grounded. I felt like I needed sunshine, and glucose in my blood stream as I only had buttered coffee in the moring. The touch of her warm hand of my back gave me a minute of sunshine. Frankincense helped me to stay present.
Feeling a little stoned right now after viet spring rolls and coffee. It is like the stoned feeling in the morning. Shall go to a park to do stretching and movement.
Session 1
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