Wow I am half lying down on the sofa, I feels really really good becuase the buzzing and humming in my head just disappears away. It feels like Im sitted next to the giant refirgerator with engine noise and it all goes away.
I lie on the sofa with my head resting on the backrest. This stretchess my neck
Looks like my life is in shit. Fuck man. ………… My back is really in pain. My life is in pain
What do I want to achieve?
Compared to 2 years ago, I feel that I am half of what I am . 2 years ago, I could cycle round Singapore, do rock climbing, eat lots of food, study properly, I had great drive and passion. Yes I suffered from frequent burnouts and mental fog. Couldn’t really socialise. But at least its much better than my current situation.
I’m not sure if I am suffering mentally or physically or both.
I spend 1 hour eating instead of 15-20mins
Getting out of bed is a huge struggle.
I have no friends, life is a lonely journey
I am struggling, financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, in my career, my motivation.
I am high on anxiety.
I feel like running away from life. Take a year off backpacking.
I used to have huge ambitions of setting up multiple businesses. Now I just want to be at least back to normal.
When I meet people my brain freezes after 20mins. I feel I need to lie down. My body does not feel comfortable at all.
What could be the reason for all of these?
Overdose on coffee
I don’t know…
Lack of purpose?
What do I want?
I want to know my purpose and direction in life
Know what’s blocking me
Understand my life’s pattern such as why do I keep hopping from 1 thing to another
Recover from this agony that I am facing. The discomfort within my body
Be able to talk for a long period of time be a master at communications and building of relationships
Feel drive and motivation again
Feel energy flowing through me
Not be anxious
I want to be able to cycle again
I want to run my own business
Build good habits, be a person of character with good values