Wow I am half lying down on the sofa, I feels really really good becuase the buzzing and humming in my head just disappears away. It feels like Im sitted next to the giant refirgerator with engine noise and it all goes away.


I lie on the sofa with my head resting on the backrest. This stretchess my neck


Looks like my life is in shit. Fuck man. ………… My back is really in pain. My life is in pain


What do I want to achieve?


Compared to 2 years ago, I feel that I am half of what I am . 2 years ago, I could cycle round Singapore, do rock climbing, eat lots of food, study properly, I had great drive and passion. Yes I suffered from frequent burnouts and mental fog. Couldn’t really socialise. But at least its much better than my current situation.


I’m not sure if I am suffering mentally or physically or both.

I spend 1 hour eating instead of 15-20mins

Getting out of bed is a huge struggle.

I have no friends, life is a lonely journey

I am struggling, financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, in my career, my motivation.

I am high on anxiety.

I feel like running away from life. Take a year off backpacking.

I used to have huge ambitions of setting up multiple businesses. Now I just want to be at least back to normal.

When I meet people my brain freezes after 20mins. I feel I need to lie down. My body does not feel comfortable at all.


What could be the reason for all of these?

Anxiety attack

Bipolar disorder

Work stress

Food poisoning

Nerve compression

Flat foot

Overdose on coffee

I don’t know…

Existential questions

Lack of purpose?


What do I want?

I want to know my purpose and direction in life

Know what’s blocking me

Understand my life’s pattern such as why do I keep hopping from 1 thing to another

Recover from this agony that I am facing. The discomfort within my body

Be able to talk for a long period of time be a master at communications and building of relationships

Feel drive and motivation again

Feel energy flowing through me

Not be anxious

I want to be able to cycle again

I want to run my own business

Find love

Build good habits, be a person of character with good values